No, twenty is not old at all. But it is SO weird to think that this weekend, I will no longer be a teenager! Yes, it is just a number... but still. I have almost been alive for twenty years. It is really hard to believe. Growing up has been quite an adventure, extremely tough at times and full of joy at others. I am sooooooooooo blessed to have been given the life I have. I have it so good!
My friends are some of the best people in the entire world. They are such a good family away from home. They comfort me when I am sad, laugh with me when I am happy, and give great hugs when I need them. I could not ask to be in a better place right now. I am really looking forward to next year! My homesickness has lessened and I know I am really going to miss my friends this summer.
But no... they are not perfect either. Sometimes I just get in such a bad mood and they make it worse. Like tonight- people wanted to watch a movie, and others didn't want to watch it. The thing is, those who did not want to watch the movie are made fun of by those who do. It makes me so angry! If someone doesn't want to watch a movie because they would rather protect their mind from the images in media, who is to say otherwise? Why are people ridiculed for wanting to do the right thing? Let me clarify, "the right thing" can be a gray term that may be different for different people. I don't like R rated movies. Yes, I make exceptions, but it is just a movie, and my life will go on without seeing it. Why make fun of my choice not to watch it? Just because it is your favorite movie doesn't mean I will enjoy watching it!
I wish people would begin to understand this! Of course I don't get it completely yet either... I just wish people were more tolerable of differences. I am so afraid of what people think of me. I'm afraid I will get laughed at because I don't know about things other people know. I'm too "innocent" and "pure". Please tell me, why is that a bad thing? I want to be in the world, but not of it. I want to be wise as a serpent, yet innocent as a dove. Please stop making fun of those who want to lead a righteous life, and chose to avoid certain things because of it! Different things work for different people. Currently I have been a little "sassy." And it is fun, and just joking around... and people have commented on how great it is when I get an attitude. That confuses me. When I am being all sassy, then I'm cool... as opposed to when I am my boring goodie-two-shoes old self? I don't get it. Just accept me for me! No one is simple, everyone has extreme complexities to their personality!
... sorry. I get annoyed WAY too easily :) I'm working on it!
But despite the occasional troubles, I love my friends. And I really hope they love me too! Sometimes I feel overlooked... but it isn't a big deal. I am so happy for my friends who have found a special someone, greater than friend. I sometimes wish that I had that too. Someone who would always want to spend time with me, so that I would always have the option of hanging out with someone. I want to get married someday, and there is no rush at all, but it would be nice to find him soon. Patience is definitely hard sometimes. I know, I know... only twenty. I have a lifetime ahead of me. This fact is completely understood, but sometimes my heart doesn't follow the logic of my head.
And I really can't believe I am almost done with my second year of college! Life is flying by so fast! It has been a WONDERFUL experience to say the least. I have learned so much about architecture, life, myself, relationships, how to sleep anywhere and everywhere, how to keep going when everything is falling apart, and how to completely depend on God. I've also learned what if feels like to be in a rut with very little spiritual growth because of neglecting my time with God. There is just so little time, I get my priorities mixed up sometimes. Passing my classes, or spending some time reading the bible? Well... I'll probably just fall asleep if I read. Yep. It's hard sometimes. I've learned to draw better, to design better, and to let things go sometimes. I can't be perfect. :) Crazy huh?
So... that's the reflections on life for today!
Looking forward to the future and life as an "adult" but kinda freaking out on the inside too! What a wonderful journey I'm on.
No comments:
Post a Comment