About that Time

I have to laugh to myself when I realize that the most I have posted on my blog this entire summer is right before I head back to school. Who doesn't like to write when they need to express their feelings? Just kidding, I know some people don't :)
I love school. The campus is so incredible! Beautiful, and full of good memories. I love the trees in Autumn and Spring, and I love the snow and all the beauty in the Winter. I love my friends and all the good times we've had... going to IHOP way past my bedtime, Homecoming on Navy Pier, Upper Room (Judson's worship band that plays every Tuesday night), Soccer Games, hanging out watching movies, crazy conversations over lunch and dinner (and all the times people talk about puke when I really feel like I need to...), and just living life without adults. Okay, that isn't supposed to sound bad- I love life with adults in it too (and there are professors and such)- but just being with friends 24/7 is a way different experience that I know many of you can relate to. I am so glad that God has given me amazing friends at school, who can fill the void of my family until I return home. I am sooooooo excited to see everyone!
But then again...
I don't want to leave. The conflicting feelings inside me are insane! Will it really get easier as time goes on? Because leaving isn't any easier this year. I don't like being 16 hours away when I should be home watching my brother's soccer games and helping him with his homework. I should be here for my parents, and they for me. Phone conversations and Skype help... but it isn't the same. I love the Mountains. I love everything about Colorado: the weather that can turn on a dime and the Spring snow storms, the dry climate, the city I live in, the Mountains, the wildflowers, the chipmunks, all the activities my family and I love to do together... the Mountains... the whole shebang. ( I don't know how to spell that.)
And yet, I know Judson is where I am supposed to be. I love it there, just like I love home. I begin to think, "This is my last day with my family! This is my last day with my dog, with my friends, in my own room. I can't plan to be at this or that because I am going to be gone. I can't see my brother's games because I won't be here." It is almost as if everyone in my life is dying and I will never see them again! Then I finally think how silly I am being. God never leaves! I won't ever be alone. And although it is hard to leave, He will give me strength. I will see my family again! If not here, then in heaven. (Morbid thought... sorry...) But still. God has plans for my life, and Lord willing, I will be back in Colorado living out my dreams and living them close to my family. This is only a stage in life. One that I can definitely get through. So I am comforted by this fact: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" I cling to that knowledge and look forward to the coming year despite the whirlwind of emotions fighting for control in my heart.