Overcoming Fear

I have this fear. A crippling, debilitating fear of what others think of me.

I know it's dumb! But whether it is consciously or unconsciously... I struggle every day to overcome my fear.

Yes... God loves me for the person He created me to be! I know this! He didn't make mistakes with me, nor does He love me because of the way I preform. But still it is so hard for me to remember this, and not care about the thoughts of others.

I'm better than I used to be...

I wonder if my fear of embarrassment ever prevents me from doing God's will. There was an instance the other day when I was in Walmart and an older lady dropped her cain. My gut reaction was to move! and help her! But instantly after my first thought, I noticed everyone around me. What would people say if I helped? "Aw, what a good kid" or "Typical Goodie-Two-Shoes". So I didn't help. I just watched, pulse racing, as this poor woman bent over and painstakingly received her cain from the floor. And then, I was mad at myself. I knew I should have done something! It was the simplest of tasks! Just take a few steps and help her out! But in my fear, I just froze up.

I've been noticing more and more of these situations lately. I'm presented with an opportunity to do good, and I don't because of what people might think. It happens quite a bit with my design work as well. It is almost as if embarrassment is strong motivation to do well. If I don't, my classmates will laugh at me. If I don't do well on a test, and a classmate is grading it, what will they think of me? I even go so far as to put way too much thought on my clothing or hair styles for the day because I don't know the reaction I will get. I get embarrassed way too easily, and I really do think it is hindering my ability to grow. I know so much happens when I'm out of my comfort zone, but I'm so afraid to leave it.

So prayers would be awesome! Prayers for me to remember my identity in Christ, and to have confidence as His daughter. I don't want to care what possible harmful things people may say or think (which is another thing all together, because usually people aren't even thinking about me and would never say anything mean! ) I'm an introvert... I think about myself way too much :)

I'm trying to do better.