Just Thoughts...

I know, I know...
I said I wouldn't be writing until two weeks were up and no, I do not have any time to write this right now... but sometimes I just have to write! Journaling is an amazing outlet for emotions and thoughts, so if you are looking for a way to express yourself, try it! I have to write this down because if I don't, I won't be able to concentrate. Might as well get it off my chest.

Tonight at my Church, Willow Creek (Yes the huge mega church in the Chicago area), we had an AMAZING service. It was about Celebration of Hope for 2010. Celebration of Hope is something the church has done for a few years now, and they are doing it again. There are three parts to this "celebration" and this week is "We Stand". We as a church are going to eat like those who live off of two dollars a day. I encourage you to check it out at http://www.willowcreek.org/coh/default2.aspx Maybe you would like to try it as well! It is going to be quite a challenge, but I would love the reminder to pray for the poor in the world.
Please pray for me as I take on these five days with tap water, oatmeal, beans, and rice.

It is rather ironic that just earlier today, I was trying to decide what my English paper topic should be. I decided to go with poverty. Then tonight at church, they spoke about those in poverty! I love the connections God makes! The church service made me miss Africa SO MUCH!
My heart was so stirred up. I don't want to be in school. I want to go and DO something! Yes, I can give money... but without a job, there is only so much I can give! I have to live off something, right? I want to go and jump on a plane and fly to Tanzania. I want to go see Raphael get married. But that all costs money! Should I care? Is money something I should hold on to so I can pay off the debts in my future, or should I use it to go do good in Tanzania? Then there is the question of: how practical would that really be? What could I do as one person with little money? How would I be able to accomplish anything? So I have decided not to be hasty and rush back over there.
I want to be an architect. I love graphic design too. I could be done with school faster as a graphic designer, and get out in the world sooner with less debt. Someone once asked me how I could change the world with architecture. Africa was fresh on my mind, so I made up an answer on the spot, saying, "well, I could design an inexpensive 'green' house for them, and go build tons of houses in Africa." Was it really just a random idea? I REALLY want to accomplish this goal now! It is not just some silly made up answer to sound impressive, I honestly want to help those living in poverty. When walking through a big house in the Parade of Homes I desire to design and live in one. But so many people are so critical of them. I understand: no one needs all that space, and the money could go to a better cause. I find myself justifying my desire by saying, "I want to adopt many children from Africa!" Things have changed and I realize I do not need a big beautiful mansion, but I love the idea of having a house with a BUNCH of rooms. My parents have enjoyed letting anyone and everyone who needs a place to live move in to our house. I am inspired by that! I want to be a place where those in need can live in my house. I want to help the Africans, and all those in need. Our pastor told a story about a family who signed up to take African refugee families, and how close they have become. (I cried alot in the service... ) I REALLY WANT THAT!

So, for now... I shall stay in school, learning to become an architect. And hopefully, I will be able to use what I have learned to accomplish my dreams, and further God's Kingdom. There is still the question of the bible teaching that we should never let our age determine what we can accomplish. We should never let anyone tell us we are too young for God to use. But what do I do? Do I go now as a missionary? Do I stay here in school doing nothing for Tanzania?

But then again... I am not doing "nothing". God can still use me here. I can still affect the lives around me, and do God's work while in school.
Just something to think about.