Today I found out through facebook that one of my grade school friends died. He was my fourth grade crush, and was one of the only boys who still noticed me when I was in my awkward middle school phase. We went to different high schools and I haven't seen him in forever, but we reconnected my sophomore year of college when we became facebook friends. He requested to be my friend, so I sent him a message saying something like, "Wow I haven't seen you forever! You still remember me?"
His reply was: "haha I know it's been SOOOOO long!!! Of course I remember you lol I had the biggest crush on you! lol I've been really good. Just school and stuff! How have you been?!"
And now... he's gone.
And I'm not sure where he's gone.
If his lifestyle is any indication... I'd rather not think about it.
First reaction is that I wish I could have said something, had a conversation with him sometime about God, told him how much he is loved. I don't know how it happened, or why, or when. I just know he's gone.
I know I can't do anything to "save" people. God could have used me, but He didn't in this case. I wish it didn't end like this.
All I can do now is pray that God will receive glory from this. That his death will open the eyes of those who love him, that God will win over the hearts of those affected.
It is eye opening to realize that death doesn't wait till you are ready to go. It can be completely unexpected. I'm reminded to live every day like it's my last! To follow the nudgings God places on my heart and spread the good news to as many as possible.
Goodbye my friend. May your life and death affect the lives you left behind.
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